Happy Halloween! Um, I Think You’re Doing It Wrong

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I used to spend weeks decorating. Carving pumpkins, putting little tombstones in the yard, even setting up fake skeletons on the porch with dusters in hand, cleaning all the fake cobwebs. Nowadays I spend most of my time helping my clients decorate. Granted they don’t have the same vision as me. Each one has their own unique way of doing … Continue reading Happy Halloween! Um, I Think You’re Doing It Wrong

A Word About Floors

I hate cleaning floors. Out of all my housecleaning duties it is my least favorite, mainly because it takes the most time and most of my clients are completely anal about them. And rightly so, for the most part. If a house is completely clean, but the floors are dirty, the house will still appear messy. Inversely, sweeping and vacuuming the floors is the fastest … Continue reading A Word About Floors

The Cleaning Lady Knows All Your Secrets

As a cleaning lady, I have to be in every nook and cranny of your house, and by extension, every nook and cranny of your life. That’s why it’s important to find someone who values discretion and confidentiality. But if you don’t want me to find something, put it away. And I’m not talking about under the bed where you hide your poopy pants. I … Continue reading The Cleaning Lady Knows All Your Secrets

The Hoarder, The Final Spin

Parts 1 and 2 here. The homework assignment I gave to the hoarder seemed to work, as she dove into the house with extra zeal. We went through the boxes again and managed to get a pretty large donation pile. Nothing sparked “joy” for her as much as not dying under a mountain of unopened Amazon boxes. Through the first year we made real progress … Continue reading The Hoarder, The Final Spin

Cleaning Lady/Client Confidentiality

Or as I like to call it, “No ma’am,” “No sir” and “Fine” I realize the title of this post is a bit hypocritical, considering I write a blog about my clients, but I post anonymously and change the names of my subjects. And I highly doubt any of my many followers know any of these people, so I’m probably safe for now. Until the … Continue reading Cleaning Lady/Client Confidentiality

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What Spring Cleaning Means to My Clients

Spring cleaning time has come which means a very busy season for me. All of my clients want the spring cleaning treatment, although some of them have very different ideas of what that actually means. For the few sane ones I clean for, we do the usual deep-cleaning routine—wiping inside the cabinets, decluttering, washing curtains and blinds, and throwing away the expired eighty ounces of … Continue reading What Spring Cleaning Means to My Clients

Why You Need a Ladder to Clean a Bachelor Pad

Today I clean the “BroZone.” It is the bachelor pad of a my youngest client, a 25-year-old weightlifter and personal trainer. I did not give his apartment this hideous name. He did, along with some of his other meathead buddies during an all-night brainstorming session fueled by Budweiser and protein shakes. They were so proud of their brilliance, they made a plaque out of it. … Continue reading Why You Need a Ladder to Clean a Bachelor Pad

two large stacks of file papers messy

When Organizing Paperwork Gets Downright Ugly

I had a client a few years ago who was a referral from another long-time client of mine.  She didn’t want house cleaning, but help with organizing her paperwork, which was bursting at the seams in all corners of her house. Easy, I thought, as this was the part of the job I love to do.  Organizing is an art, cleaning is a skill. So … Continue reading When Organizing Paperwork Gets Downright Ugly

Christmas and the Bird Lady

Today I went to the Bird Lady’s house. I call her the Bird Lady, not because she has a bunch of birds in cages, but because she spends the majority of her days in her sunroom smoking cigarettes and identifying all the birds who fly into her yard.  She is an elderly woman, in her mid-seventies, but still gets around surprisingly well and always has … Continue reading Christmas and the Bird Lady

Three bananas in metal basket

Fifty Shades of Grey Just Got Cleaner

Some years back, I got a phone call from a couple.  I will henceforth refer to them as Mr. and Mrs. Grey (which will become absurdly apparent shortly).  I was still advertising on Craigslist at the time. “Cleaning and Organizational Specialist” was my title and “Discretion” was my mantra.  They took that to heart and decided to give me a call. Mrs. Grey greeted me … Continue reading Fifty Shades of Grey Just Got Cleaner