The Cleaning Lady Knows All Your Secrets

As a cleaning lady, I have to be in every nook and cranny of your house, and by extension, every nook and cranny of your life. That’s why it’s important to find someone who values discretion and confidentiality. But if you don’t want me to find something, put it away. And I’m not talking about under the bed where you hide your poopy pants. I … Continue reading The Cleaning Lady Knows All Your Secrets

The Hoarder, The Final Spin

Parts 1 and 2 here. The homework assignment I gave to the hoarder seemed to work, as she dove into the house with extra zeal. We went through the boxes again and managed to get a pretty large donation pile. Nothing sparked “joy” for her as much as not dying under a mountain of unopened Amazon boxes. Through the first year we made real progress … Continue reading The Hoarder, The Final Spin

Christmas and the Bird Lady

Today I went to the Bird Lady’s house. I call her the Bird Lady, not because she has a bunch of birds in cages, but because she spends the majority of her days in her sunroom smoking cigarettes and identifying all the birds who fly into her yard.  She is an elderly woman, in her mid-seventies, but still gets around surprisingly well and always has … Continue reading Christmas and the Bird Lady

Three bananas in metal basket

Fifty Shades of Grey Just Got Cleaner

Some years back, I got a phone call from a couple.  I will henceforth refer to them as Mr. and Mrs. Grey (which will become absurdly apparent shortly).  I was still advertising on Craigslist at the time. “Cleaning and Organizational Specialist” was my title and “Discretion” was my mantra.  They took that to heart and decided to give me a call. Mrs. Grey greeted me … Continue reading Fifty Shades of Grey Just Got Cleaner

Does This Cleaning Job Come With a Hazmat Suit?

Today, I’m cleaning Midge’s house.  She is one of my favorite clients but also the one I need insurance for, or a Hazmat suit. Midge is a short, sweet, 50-something divorcee living alone in a spacious condo in a gated community.  She also has a penchant for vodka and covering sharp objects with towels. Every two weeks I prepare for Midge’s cleaning day as I … Continue reading Does This Cleaning Job Come With a Hazmat Suit?