Today I clean the “BroZone.” It is the bachelor pad of a my youngest client, a 25-year-old weightlifter and personal trainer. I did not give his apartment this hideous name. He did, along with some of his other meathead buddies during an all-night brainstorming session fueled by Budweiser and protein shakes. They were so proud of their brilliance, they made a plaque out of it. … Continue reading Why You Need a Ladder to Clean a Bachelor Pad
I have ten clients on my roaster at the moment. It’s a good number for me as I work by, and for, myself. Everyone keeps telling me to hire some people and grow my business into some cleaning empire, scrubbing the world of filth and coffee stains, but I’m happy where I am. And my clients are a handful enough. All my clients vary in … Continue reading If People Weren’t Complete Trainwrecks, I’d Be Out of a Cleaning Job
I hate the word maid. I’ve never considered myself one, with the word evoking images of black and white clad servants taking coats at the door or serving tea to rich, blue-hairs barking orders at them. So I just call myself a cleaning lady. I come into your house once a week or every two weeks and clean (organizational jobs aside). That’s about it. I … Continue reading Why Your Cleaning Lady Is Not Your Babysitter
I had a client a few years ago who was a referral from another long-time client of mine. She didn’t want house cleaning, but help with organizing her paperwork, which was bursting at the seams in all corners of her house. Easy, I thought, as this was the part of the job I love to do. Organizing is an art, cleaning is a skill. So … Continue reading When Organizing Paperwork Gets Downright Ugly
When I first heard of the new “Tidying Up” craze sweeping the globe, I rolled my eyes and didn’t give it another thought. But then, a few weeks ago, I walked into a clients house and she was sitting in front of a mountain of clothes asking a pair of underwear if they brought her joy. As a cleaning and organizational specialist, I figured I’d … Continue reading Magic of Tidying Up or Zen for Fools?
Today I went to the Bird Lady’s house. I call her the Bird Lady, not because she has a bunch of birds in cages, but because she spends the majority of her days in her sunroom smoking cigarettes and identifying all the birds who fly into her yard. She is an elderly woman, in her mid-seventies, but still gets around surprisingly well and always has … Continue reading Christmas and the Bird Lady
Some years back, I got a phone call from a couple. I will henceforth refer to them as Mr. and Mrs. Grey (which will become absurdly apparent shortly). I was still advertising on Craigslist at the time. “Cleaning and Organizational Specialist” was my title and “Discretion” was my mantra. They took that to heart and decided to give me a call. Mrs. Grey greeted me … Continue reading Fifty Shades of Grey Just Got Cleaner
Today, I’m cleaning Midge’s house. She is one of my favorite clients but also the one I need insurance for, or a Hazmat suit. Midge is a short, sweet, 50-something divorcee living alone in a spacious condo in a gated community. She also has a penchant for vodka and covering sharp objects with towels. Every two weeks I prepare for Midge’s cleaning day as I … Continue reading Does This Cleaning Job Come With a Hazmat Suit?